TNZKMA 142

１４２

 

[Uncle, aren’t you going to become a farmer?]

[I like making food. This job suits me well. The pay’s good, and I have no complaints.]

The food stall owner falls under the “odd job workers” category. That means, among people of the same age group, his turn for the Ceremony comes last.

[Until you can receive the Ceremony, why not become a farmer? Once you’ve received the Ceremony and got a Reincarnator, you can do whatever job you like.]

Haruka clapped his hands together as he made the suggestion.

[Oh, that’s a great idea! Haruka, you’re so smart. Uncle, you should do that. There are lots of people in farming, so it’s hard, but becoming a guard now wouldn’t work. It would take 10 years to become a Dauntless.]

Even guards who aren’t Dauntless fall under “odd job workers.”

[Exactly. There are lots of farmers, but your turn would definitely come, right?]

Both of us said that, but Uncle frowned and shook his head.

[No, I’m fine as I am.]

[Isn’t it too early to give up? You’re still young.]

Haruka gently touched Uncle’s hand. His hands, which handled large pots and big knives with ease, were just as big as Saine’s.

[Uh… I don’t know how to say this, but… well, you see, I’m already quite old, and on top of that, I’m a male Reincarnator. I don’t think I’d sell for as much as you think. And… while I really appreciate your concern, male Reincarnators are usually treated poorly, you know? This one is an exception, or rather, it’s a super rare case.]

Haruka pointed at me and said,

[That’s why, don’t worry about where I end up. Just sell me. No, rather, please sell me.]

Haruka smiled and nodded, as if convincing himself. I pushed aside the sting that hit the back of my nose.

You haven’t changed, best friend. Haruka always puts the people he cares about first. Instead of thinking about himself, he considers what the people he loves think, what they want. Even if that means excluding himself, Haruka would gladly step away.

But, Haruka, are you aware? You have a habit of clenching your fists tightly when you lie. Right now, your fists are so tightly clenched that the veins on the back of your hands are about to pop out.

[…I’ll decide what happens with me. I’ll also decide what to do with my Reincarnator. Don’t interfere.]

Uncle, in a low voice, trying to suppress his anger, ordered quietly.

[Y-You’re right. Yes, I understand. I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to worry about me. I’m really grateful for your concern, but I don’t want to be a burden to you… so, well, whatever you decide, I’ll accept it.]

Haruka looked away as if hurt but still smiled as he spoke, and his words pierced my chest. Everything he said was exactly what I had said to Saine. And, probably, I still feel that way now.

Somehow, the group dispersed, and I found myself walking along the dark night road with Saine. The path became pitch black as we moved further from the market. Clinging to Saine’s hand, walking blindly, I muttered quietly.

[Uncle… he probably wants to stay with Haruka.]

[Probably.]

I looked up at Saine in agreement. I couldn’t see anything, but Saine’s face should be around here somewhere.

[Right! You think so too, don’t you, Saine?]

Yeah, I knew it. Because when he looks at Haruka, there’s warmth in his eyes. But with everything that’s happened, he can’t act honestly. Maybe he’s scared. He might even think Haruka hates him.

Alright! As Haruka’s best friend, I’ll give them a push.

[Don’t do anything.]

Just as I clenched my fist, Saine’s low voice interrupted.

[I didn’t say anything.]

[You don’t have to. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t meddle.]

Annoyed at being called out, I frowned.

[What do you mean, meddling? When two people can’t be honest with each other, it’s natural for those around them to help. Isn’t there something like a matchmaker or mediator here?]

[What’s that?]

Now that I think about it, this is a world without matchmaking or romance—partners are decided on the spot by the Ceremony. There’s no need for someone to mediate between two people. From the way Saine talks, I get the sense that the concept doesn’t even exist here.

[What happens if you end up on bad terms with your Reincarnator? Isn’t there anyone who listens to both sides and helps mend the relationship?]

[A Reincarnator is just that, a Reincarnator. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is good or bad. No one is allowed to interfere in the relationship between a Reincarnator and their husband.]

Reincarnators summoned by the Ceremony have no other connections. Even if their relationship with their husband goes bad, they have nowhere to return—no family home, no friend’s house to take refuge in. No matter how awful or how much they dislike their husband, they have no choice but to stay in their husband’s home.

But you know, people here suffer too.

Even if you wanted this, the Reincarnator you get from the Ceremony might not be to your liking. And yet, you have to put up with your own partner. Even if you fancy the wife next door, if you make a move, you’ll be killed.

In this case, it’s not mutual punishment for the affair. Only the man who made the move is killed. Even if the affair was consensual, the Reincarnator is protected.

If they don’t get along, both the Reincarnator and the husband are doomed to misery. That’s why, if they actually like each other, I really hope things work out.

Haruka’s not one to get cocky, and she definitely won’t believe it, but I think I’ll try telling her that I’m pretty sure Uncle likes her. She probably won’t believe me, though.

Just as I let out a small sigh, Saine stopped walking.

[What’s up?]

I looked up, unable to see him.

[…Are you okay with this?]

[Okay with what?]

We were now in the easternmost district, where only single people lived. Maybe that’s why it was so quiet here. No voices, day or night. Even the animals were asleep, so the only sound was our own voices.

In the darkness, where not a sound could be heard, I looked up at the invisible Saine.

[It’s pitch black, you know.]

[Hm?]

I know it’s dark. I can’t see anything. As I tilted my head, Saine’s low voice dropped from above.

[…………… I don’t need to carry you?]

[………………Huh!? Nope! I’m not okay! Carry me, give me a lift.]

Right! It’s pitch black out here. This is my chance. I hurriedly reached out both hands.

I could hear the faint sound of Saine laughing, and I knew he crouched down for me. Feeling around, I found his broad back, and I couldn’t help but smile at the familiar warmth.

As Saine stood up, my feet left the ground. But I wasn’t scared at all. I know I’ll get heavier as time goes on, but that doesn’t seem to matter to Saine.

Well, Saine pulled up Dole, whose size I can never catch up to no matter how much I grow, with one hand.

So for him, carrying me is nothing.

I hugged him tightly, filling my lungs with his scent. He’d been out in the forest for work and then got caught up in a monster incident, so he hadn’t had a chance to bathe in a while, but he didn’t smell bad. In fact, there was something comforting about his masculine scent.

[Saine, I love you.]

The words burst out, driven by a sudden rush of emotion. But my feelings weren’t acknowledged—they just melted into the darkness.

Saine, is it a burden for you when I tell you I love you? Do you not feel the same? Is that why you can’t answer, and I’m just troubling you?

You know, Saine, I really do love you. You’re important to me. I want to be useful to you. If I could do even one thing that only I could do for you, would you finally say you love me too?

Saine treats me with care, but I want more than just that—I want words. I know I’m being selfish. I used to think that just being with him was enough, but now that I have that, I want more. If Saine were to finally give me the words I crave, what would I want next? Would I keep wanting more and more until, in the end, Saine comes to hate me?

If that’s the case, maybe I should just give up on words. Being together should be enough, right? I try to convince myself, but what used to be easy is now so difficult.

Clinging tightly to Saine, I sneak a small kiss onto his shoulder.