TNZKMA 144

１４４

 

It felt like I had only closed my eyes for a moment, but when I opened them again, it was morning. I was surprised that instead of sleeping, I had just crashed. The room that had been pitch dark was now filled with the light of early morning, and I panicked slightly.

[Huh? Ah!]

I shot up and looked at Saine. He was already awake and watching me flail around, seemingly amused.

[Saine! Good morning… uh, did you sleep?]

[Yeah.]

[Oh, good. Sorry, I fell asleep first, didn’t I?]

[Why are you apologizing?]

[Well, um, how should I put it… I feel like a good wife should let her tired husband sleep first, or, like, watch over him.]

[Waif.]

His pronunciation was strange. I guess they don’t use the word “wife” here.

[A wife is like a bride.]

[Braid.]

Ah, that sounded weird too.

[Hm, how should I say this… What do you call a Reincarnator here?]

[A Reincarnator.]

Saine’s eyes seemed to ask what else it could be called. Now that I think about it, I’ve never heard anyone here call a Reincarnator anything other than that. We Reincarnators say things like “wife” or “bride,” but people here only say Reincarnator. Even Saine refers to me as “my Reincarnator.”

For us, Reincarnator means “someone who has reincarnated,” but maybe for people here, it carries a lot more meaning.

As I pondered that and started to get out of bed, a strong arm wrapped around my waist.

[Saine?]

[Are you rested?]

]Yeah. I guess I was more tired than I thought. I fell asleep instantly and didn’t even dream. What about you?]

[This much doesn’t tire me out.]

Saying this, Saine pulled me into a strong embrace and quickly switched positions.

Saine never says things like he’s tired. I wonder if he thinks that’s just a complaint. Even in the Guards Guild, there are a lot of people who brag about their skills, or rather, brag about how much they can endure. Like, “I’ll be fine without this much sleep,” or “I got this injury, but it’s no big deal.” Saine is also a guard, so maybe he doesn’t want to say things like he’s sleepy, tired, or wants to rest.

If Saine doesn’t say it aloud, then I have to be the one to notice it properly. And then I have to guide him well so that he doesn’t push himself too hard. As I made that decision, Saine moved around above me.

[Saine, what are you doing?]

While stroking and licking my neck, chest, and stomach, he grabbed both of my legs and spread them apart. Saine then sat between my legs.

[Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?]

He grins as he holds a small bottle of Dour grass in his hand, though I don’t know when he prepared it.

Ignoring my panic, Saine thrusts his thick finger into my ass.

[Huh? Huh? Wait a minute.]

[What’s wrong?]

With his finger still inside, Saine asks with a sullen look on his face.

[Why? Why are you doing this?]

[You’re my Reincarnator, aren’t you? You don’t need a reason to do it.]

[No, it’s not that… I mean, it’s morning.]

The whitish light of early morning pours in through the window.

[You’re so hung up on weird things. Why do you think this is something that only happens at night?]

[What do you mean “why”…… Hmm, I’m not sure but I think this is something to be done when everyone else is asleep. After all, this is the time when everybody is awake. There are people walking around normally in the other world, but I feel like something’s different.]

With Saine between my legs, I pulled myself up. Saine’s fingers were still in my ass, so I grabbed his stiff arm with both hands and pulled it out.

[Plus, Saine, aren’t you going to the Guards Guild? The guild is broken, but you’re supposed to gather around that area, right?]

The monsters are gone, but they weren’t killed. Also, this town has just been attacked and is defenseless. The Heroes are dead, and the Dauntless have been killed or injured.

According to Saine, monsters don’t form groups, but rumors might still circulate among them. It’s kind of funny, like some sort of circular notice. So, without being bound by districts, the Dauntless will need to protect the town.

[You need to go to the guild to discuss various things.]

[That’s the guild leader’s job. We just follow what’s decided.]

The guild leader in the eastern district is that cool old man. I wonder who he really is.

[You said you wanted to do it. Did you change your mind now that morning has come?]

Is Saine angry? His eyes narrowed slightly, making me shiver.

[I didn’t, I didn’t. It’s just… since it’s not nighttime, it feels different, and… I have to worry about you, Saine.]

[Worry about me?]

[Yeah. I always get so caught up in my own stuff that I notice your condition and things like that way too late. So I thought that’s not good; I’ve been reflecting on it.]

He sighed in exasperation, and took a new dour grass from the vial into his palm.

[Don’t worry about me. I am well aware of the state of my own body. That’s the basic requirement and is essential to become a Dauntless. I am a Dauntless. That’s why I can judge my own health better than anyone else.]

It felt like a shutter has slammed in front of me. Again, the thing that I can do disappeared.

[Anyway, just let me do it. I can’t bear it any longer.]

Saine said in a desperate tone, and thrust his finger into my ass and moved it a little roughly.

Just as he pulled out his fingers, Saine pushed in. It had been so long since I’d last done this, and the pressure was incredible. I tried my best to exhale the breath that was starting to get choked up, and timed my movements with Saine.

Saine started moving as soon as he put it in. Usually, he would wait until my breathing steadied, but today was different. He moved his hips busily, breathing heavily. At the mercy of Saine, my thoughts stopped.

Doubts, resentment, anxiety, all sorts of things mixed together in my head. Like the wet sound of water reverberating from below, my head was a mess.

I like Saine, but no matter how much I tell him how I feel, he doesn’t respond. I want to become Saine’s absolute, but I have no idea what to do. But I just wanted to be useful. I wanted Saine to praise me for being useful.

Saine hugged me tightly and let out a low growl. I could feel Saine explode inside me, slamming into the depths. Feeling the heat of Saine, I also let out my desire.

Men are materialistic, Haruka had said. Even if his husband changes all the time and he ends up with one he doesn’t like, he’ll still get an erection when he’s held, and he ejaculates when he hits the nice spot. I’m a man too, so I guess it’s the same. Even if I’m feeling all troubled, I’m happy when Saine holds me, and when Saine ejaculates, I’m lured in and cum.

Saine continued to ejaculate for much longer than usual, and let out a lot inside me. Then he let out a sigh of complete satisfaction. Saine let out a breath.

With my legs wrapped around Saine’s thick waist, I was surprised at the tears that were slowly streaming down my face.

I’m happy that Saine is satisfied with me, but sad. Strange emotions mix in my chest. What is my role? Even if I don’t cook, he can go to the market and eat as much as he wants. He can eat cheaper food that’s better than mine. There’s a laundryman to do the laundry, and it doesn’t matter whether I clean or not. There’s nothing, so all I have to do is give it a quick sweep and I’m done.

Is this my only role? The only thing that I can do for Saine. Is the only thing I can do for Saine is to offer him my ass?

What could that mean? Unable to erase the questions that were floating in my mind, I just continued to shed tears.

We took a bath together to wash off the sweat, and then went to the Guards Guild. Usually, I would go to the market while Saine was at the guild, but he said I couldn’t today. That monster might come to kidnap Kyui, so I tried to leave Kyui with Saine, but he refused that too. He told me to take Kyui with me. But if a monster attacks, I won’t be of any use. I’ll be able to do nothing and Kyui will be taken away.

The guard season is over, and the monster season is beginning. For a while from now, Saine will stay in town, not going anywhere. And he’ll be by my side. He’ll hold me at night, and even now, if I hold his hand, he’ll hold my hand back. When it gets dark, he’ll even carry me.

But why? Sometimes, I just feel so helpless and distant from him.