Idle Talk: Ciel’s Feelings
A/N:
Ciel is a complicated person compared to the others, so I tried to supplement his character.
Even if you don’t read this, the story will still connect. There’s a possibility that his image might be destroyed so those who don’t like it, please fly away.
The first time I met with the little kid was when I went to buy my favorite bread.
While Aleph was teaching the newbies, I would either spend my time studying magic or caring for my bow.
I used to go together with them to subjugate monsters and the likes at first, but it’s too troublesome caring for them gently, there were also those who fell in love with Aleph who looked at me as if I were an obstruction, and to the newbies who only looked at my outer appearance and sent me amorous glances, my motivation which was originally non-existent shrunk very quickly and disappeared.
In the first place, it’s not that I did it because I wanted to.
That’s why I only cast auxiliary magic to Aleph who is doing such an unprofitable job for the newcomers to send him off, and I enjoy my freedom.
Today, I’m out to buy my favorite bread. I look over at the familiar store.
There’s a child in the store.
I got unusually interested in the child with an unknown gender who has black hair and black eyes uncommon around this area, covered with an unremarkable gray cloak.
From the looks of their robe and age, I expect that they’re a customer that I don’t like to deal with but for some reason, I can’t get myself to look away.
The child’s big and round eyes move around, his sparkling eyes giving a feeling as if everything is refreshingly new.
Seeing their well-balanced appearance gives off an impression of beauty.
I suddenly noticed myself following the child’s every move with my eyes and I laughed at myself.
Today is my break after a long time and my time is limited. This isn’t the time to be distracted by an unknown kid.
I force myself to look away and move in order to purchase my objective.
[One of these please.]
[Please wrap this up.]
Our ordering voices overlapped.
When I looked down, the child from before was looking at me with his round eyes.
His glossy black hair flows straight down and it looks like it will feel silky once you stroke it.
The moment the child looked straight, the height of his line of sight was about as tall as my shoulder.
[Do you also like wild grapes*?] (TN: I wrote “mountain grapes” for this before.)
[Are you talking about the filling of this bread? I haven’t eaten it before but I thought it looked delicious.]
For me who is the fussiest when it comes to fruits, this is the only bread I acknowledge in this town. Thinking that this child might have the same taste with me, I became happy.
[I recommend it. My name is Ciel, an adventurer. You are?]
[I’m Rei. I’m also an adventurer, I just became one, though.]
[An adventurer? Could it be, a mage?]
[That’s right.]
As I thought, they’re a newcomer after all. A mage just like me, huh, a feeling of closeness redundantly welled up.
Rei, so he’s called Rei. It’s a name both men and women can have, but from our conversation, he’s a boy.
His contour draws a soft curve, his moat, pale features makes him look young.
Looking at his whole body, I thought ’Does he plan to be an adventurer with such lightweight equipment?’, and got worried as if I got possessed by Aleph.
I ask him a question regarding safety to settle myself.
[You don’t have a staff?]
[Not yet.]
[Do you use other weapons?]
[No…]
[Any plans on joining a party?]
[None.]
The result was a set of rejections. At this rate, this child will fall prey to either monsters or unpleasant fellows.
Even though I understood it, the meddlesome Aleph* has already disappeared and my usual face has reappeared. (TN: the “possession”)
I give the pathetically reckless beginner a cold attitude.
[Is that so. It’s better not to get ahead of yourself just because you can use a little bit of magic. Once you get careless and miss your step, you will get trapped and be exposed to death.]
I leave the shop without hearing his reply.
I wonder why I’m this irritated. If only that child was smarter, I won’t be this disappointed.
If only he was more cautious, not conceited, and has an honest personality.
I shook my head and chased my thoughts away. I just knew him after our brief encounter and got interested, I selfishly had some expectations, and then selfishly got disappointed, that’s all.
Instead of thinking about the things which have already passed, let’s think about the magic experiment today.
It would be later on when I notice that my old foolish and reckless self which I hated overlapped with him.
Even though I thought we won’t ever meet again after that meeting. It’s unknown what happens in life.
The circumstances kept changing before I could grasp the situation, and by the time everything was settled, it’s been decided that he and I would travel together.
Within my understanding of the situation, he’s being possessed by the Demon King and he plans to go to the Holy City to exorcise him, Aleph fell in love with him and offered to accompany him there.
Aleph is quite an introverted person to an unbelievable level and so insensitive that he does not notice just how much a lot of the beginners pour hot gazes at him.
Aleph is normally isolated from love affairs to the point it made me think that if he lets this pass, Aleph’s spring will no longer arrive. Even though he’s such a good-looking man.
For such a dense man’s heart to be stolen by an inexperienced kid, just what kinds of complications had happened? I’m deeply curious.
It’s just that, it’s not as if I did not understand what it felt to be attracted to this child called Rei.
I’ve also, from the start, felt a closeness that I’ve never experienced before.
For my precious partner who has saved me from danger many times, I stopped delving into that feeling.
I ended up seeing something terrible. Oh my goodness.
I didn’t talk to the child more than necessary during the trip, and it hit me hard.
‘If I do it like this, I feel reassured that there’s no chance you will fall for me.’
Moreover, Aleph can designate himself as his knight in shining armor.
That’s right, that child for me, is simply a little kid. A person who treats the Kiddo like a child, he can’t treat him as a love interest. Isn’t that right?
Making such excuses, which was as if I had been walking across the thin ice that I shouldn’t get in, I was quietly watching over them gradually being in a more relaxed atmosphere. And it was one of those days when I was dealing with our travel schedule.
Little Kiddo’s door is open. ‘How careless’, I got angry.
The day prior to reaching Linda Town, Little Kiddo was doing his best in his own way but, with his endurance like that of a child, he reached his limit.
And so today, he made a mistake of sleeping while leaving his door open.
That’s why it would have been better to leave watch-keeping to Aleph and me, he’s so idiotic.
I cursed him for being stupid, but thinking how much I liked his clumsy and hard-working attitude, (I couldn’t help but smile) and had to pull down the corner of my mouth with a finger to stop it from going up as I approached the door.
The child who I thought was sleeping was awake. No, he was just about to get up.
The Demon is manifesting and sending the kiddo a sticky look.
It became unpleasant for some reason. I could feel the tension in the air.
That the Demon has a curse to possess and trouble the host, but I heard that he’s fundamentally there to protect him.
Even so, why is my chest pounding?
The child placed his hands on the Demon’s shoulders and kissed him. My head turns white.
His diffused gaze was as if he was melting with pleasure.
The berry-like tongue I caught a glimpse of was seared into my mind, and my eyes were dyed red.
I kept my eyes open without moving a muscle.
When everything finished, I blankly gazed at the Demon holding the kid as if he’s a treasure.
I meet eyes with the Demon. He laughed.
{Isn’t it nice? Did Elf Boy also want to be like this with Rei?}
My legs moved as soon as I noticed it.
I slid into my assigned room as quick as I could as if I was running away and roughly closed the door.
The thought that poured into my mind falls into a delusion that reverberates countless times.
He’s wrong. I don’t want something like that at all. That is something that Aleph should have.
Why doesn’t the child kiss Aleph? If he likes that Demon then why did he get close to Aleph!
Does he find Aleph’s effort to undo the curse funny!?
My denial towards the Demon unknowingly turned into a blade that renounced the child, and I cut him with my sharp words.
For my friend, I hide my real intentions that I don’t want to recognize with those beautiful words.
Before long, I was at a loss looking up at the thick clouds that looked as if it was going to rain
Once blood rose to my head, I became unable to make calm decisions. Despite knowing that, I realized it after I had done something.
Yes, it’s the same this time as well.
What has been done could not be undone. It’s karma.
I tested the things that I must do in my head and I reached a simple and uncomplicated solution.
In other words, you must apologize once you hurt someone.
The rain ended up starting falling before I returned to the inn. Is Aleph consoling the kid around this time?
If that were the case then I will just leave without disturbing them.
Behind the door that was left open, the child was curling down while holding his knees. He saw me and jumped at his feet. Aleph is nowhere to be found.
He wrapped my wet head with his small hands and gently wiped my hair little by little, my irritated feeling easily grinded down a notch.
[…Kid.]
[Don’t call me that.]
[…………..I’m sorry for misunderstanding.]
Without meeting his eyes, I bluntly told him.
As pitiable as it was, it was my heartfelt apology.
[…It’s fine. I was wrong, too. Certainly, there could have been another way. I’m also guilty of being swept away by that guy’s words.]
The child forgave me. I breathed out the breath I’ve been holding.
[…That’s right, you should think more about Aleph’s feelings. If you don’t like it then refuse with all your strength, and call out to me and Aleph for help.]
Otherwise, all my efforts will be in vain.
I locked up my selfish motives deep in my heart.
[So Elves are monogamous.]
It may not be an apology, but I was expressing my own feelings.
Because he said he was from an extremely remote village, I mixed in some general common knowledge so it’s easy to understand.
[However, you grew up under a different common practice. It’s only natural that you feel different from me. I feel unfaithful being in a relationship with more than one person, but it’s not the case for you.]
[No, I actually am.]
[So the saying that meddling with someone else’s romance will strangle you means this! I ended up doing something unnecessary, didn’t I? The demon is the demon, Aleph is Aleph, the both of them are properly thinking for an answer and it’s not something I get to say something about, am I right?]
I knew that he said something, but I didn’t want to be rejected so I continued to speak like a waterfall.
[That’s why I’m saying, that’s not it.]
[What, do you plan to say you weren’t thinking about anything and just went with the flow?]
I’m the type who thinks things through and through. Perhaps because of that, I feel a strong resistance towards being swept away without thinking.
Perhaps the intimidation appeared from my tone, the little kid nodded frightfully.
Sh*t, I didn’t plan to intimidate him, though.
[Oh, then think about it properly. That being the case, it’s alright. However, please come up with an answer as quickly as possible. Aleph is my precious partner after all.]
He wouldn’t stop retreating, so I forcibly summarized everything so it was easy to understand.
This misunderstanding began because I didn’t know that the Demon and the Kid’s had to touch so magic power would be absorbed, and because I didn’t put into consideration my and his difference in common sense.
Aleph, who is also one of the reasons, insisted on filling me up on the details.
Aleph basically doesn’t lie, and it’s right to say that he can’t.
Foolishly straightforward and simply honest, because he’s that kind of person, he has probably told me about it this time as well. I just missed it.
He was trying to stay calm, but it appears that he’s quite shaken.
This is why even though you’re supposed to be smart, you got deceived into joining a time-sealed bond, Aleph grumbled*. Remembering my foolish self when we met, I can’t find a word to respond. (TN: I’m really not sure about this.)
In other words, what I really did this time was just mess things up for no reason in vain. The true idiot was me.
But I understood one thing.
Aleph is Human, and so is Rei. They have a lot of partners and only a few are the exemptions.
Especially Aleph, he grew up thinking that it’s normal.
In other words, if I abandon the common practice that I’ve gotten used to, I can send to Rei the feelings that I have been hiding beneath a thin ice.
Whether he accepts it or not is a completely different problem, though.
Maybe, I don’t have to give up.
[If you stop calling me a kid, we can probably get along even better, though.]
Because I can lie unlike Aleph, I smoke out what Rei wants as I say the appropriate things and roll with it.
That’s right, if I ever come to decide to give this tender feeling to you.
Let me offer to you, whose name the deepest part of me has long been calling, the words that are already in my throat.
Anne Heath On Four Ikemen Chapter 43