TNZKMA 117

１１７

Kyui can change the shape and size of its body. Just changing shape doesn’t seem to be too exhausting, but it seems like getting bigger really wears it out. Last time, after we returned from the forest, it slept for a long time, and now it’s still sleeping in the pouch.

The warmth and weight of Kyui comforts me. If I had been alone, I might have just curled up in that square. Without the courage to step into the dark passage, I probably would have just sat there. Though, before that, I might have been crushed under the ceiling.

I quickly shook my head to clear those thoughts. I shouldn’t imagine being crushed. I’d panic again, and memories from my previous life—or rather, memories from after I died—would resurface.

It’s okay, I’m okay. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in… I try to think of happy things, like Saine’s eyes or his laughter.

When Saine returns from the forest, Cate will be with him. I’m going to eat that. I’m definitely going to get home and eat cate. What should I do with it? Maybe I’ll bring it to Haruka’s husband and have him roast it. A third of it can be roasted, and for the remaining half… I’ll make shabu-shabu.

In my previous life, when I thought of shabu-shabu, I thought of pork. I didn’t know until I got into middle school that it was normally made with beef. But for me, shabu-shabu will always be pork.

Cate would be delicious in shabu-shabu. I could grind some nuts, and if it’s lacking in richness, I’ll add some insect oil. If I get it right, it could turn into a sesame sauce. I wonder what Cate’s chewy texture would be like when sliced thin. I’m looking forward to it.

What else should I make? Maybe I’ll try salting it—it could be preserved that way… No, I’ve got it! Bacon! Yes! I’m going to make bacon!

Yeah, that’s right. Cate tastes like something between beef and pork, so bacon would definitely work. Actually, it would be delicious. If I ask the grannies, they might know how to make bacon. They’re from the old days, so they made everything themselves.

Granny Haru even knew how to make miso, and she said you could skim the top and make soy sauce.

I haven’t been able to find soybeans here yet, but I have other beans, so I’m thinking of trying to make it with those. The problem is the koji mold. I wonder if there’s some good mold lying around somewhere. The grannies say since there’s alcohol, we should be able to manage somehow.

There are still so many things I want to do. There are things I want Saine to taste.

I keep shuffling forward, dragging my feet along. I don’t know how far I’ve gone. To avoid being swallowed by fear, I’ve been desperately thinking about happy things. So, I feel like I’ve walked a long way, but it might only have been a little. Anyway, I’m going to keep moving forward until I hit a wall.

Even if I do hit a wall, I’ll just turn around and go back, then take the other passage. Maybe neither will work out, but I won’t think about that. If the worst happens, I’ll think about it then. That’s what Saine always says.

I wonder if Saine’s okay. I hope he’s not hurt. I hope Katsuya didn’t do something reckless and get Saine involved. Saine is kind and responsible, so if Katsuya got into danger, he’d definitely try to help him.

My fingers that were touching the wall are starting to hurt. I switch from my fingers to the back of my hand, then my elbow as I keep moving forward. I’m walking cautiously, dragging my feet, but I decide to lift them just a little to speed up. Before I know it, tears are streaming down my face. But even while crying, I keep walking.

I stop to rest in the middle of the passage. I make sure to sleep with the left side of my body against the wall, so I don’t lose my sense of direction when I wake up. That way, when I get up, I’ll know to keep moving forward.

I remind myself not to panic when I wake up. I’m safe here. The ceiling won’t collapse, and I won’t be buried. Saine is waiting for me up ahead, so I have to keep walking.

I drift off into a brief sleep.

When I woke up, I was confused for a moment. Since it was pitch dark, I thought I had woken up in the middle of the night, and almost panicked when I remembered the situation I was in. But I held myself back, letting out only a short gasp. It’s okay, it’s okay. I can get out of here.

I stood up and started walking.

My stomach was growling loudly. I was starving. Kyui was still sleeping, but I wondered if the noise was bothering it. There was no Saine that the sound of my stomach had woken it up. It must be really exhausted. I hope I can get out of here while it’s still sleeping.

The ground beneath my feet wasn’t too bad. It didn’t feel like anything had fallen over, like in that square where the light had been leaking through. The path underfoot felt paved. It was probably lined with flat stones. If I hadn’t seen the state of the square, I might’ve mistaken it for an asphalt road. It was that smooth, except for the occasional pebble underfoot.

When Kyui wakes up, it’ll probably be hungry. It worked so hard; I want to feed it something right away.

But all I have is money. Kyui would eat just about anything, but I don’t want to give it something like that. I want to give it proper food, something even I would eat.

I lifted my feet to take a few steps, like I normally would when walking.

The ground wasn’t bad. I decided to keep walking normally.

I thought about a lot of happy memories. Things that had happened since I was reincarnated, memories of Saine. I even thought about my previous life. I wasn’t as unlucky as Haruka said. It wasn’t all bad.

My dad liked baseball and would often play catch with me. Most parents would have their kids come home when it got dark, right? But my family didn’t care about that stuff. I remember playing catch with my dad in the parking lot of our apartment complex long after sunset.

There were streetlights in the parking lot, so it was still bright at night. I was still small and clumsy, and I often hit other people’s cars with the ball. Since I was just a kid, it didn’t have much power, just a thunk, but still.

Every time I hit a car, Dad would shout, “Run!” and take off running. I’d panic and follow him, and we’d hide somewhere, watching from the shadows. Once we were sure everything was fine, we’d come out. It was nerve-wracking but fun.

Mom was more of a jokester. She’d put makeup on my face and laugh her head off, or we’d dress up in weird outfits and dance around the house.

I drank beer with them when I was a kid. The three of us once got drunk, making so much noise at night that the neighbors complained. Mom and I would sing and dance while Dad clapped along, laughing. Yeah, that wasn’t okay in the middle of the night.

We weren’t such a terrible family, you know. We just got a little off track.

I kept walking, thinking about those happy memories, taking breaks when I got tired, then walking again. I had no idea how far I’d gone, but I kept walking until I reached somewhere.

Kyui was still asleep.