TNZKMA 118

１１８

Thinking about happy memories and the food I want to eat, I started singing to create some sound.

I’ve never heard a song here. Maybe there aren’t any? I should ask Saine. I feel like there might be lullabies or something.

Since I don’t know any songs from here, I sang songs from my previous life. My mom liked music programs, so I remember quite a few songs. But I ran out of songs and ended up singing elementary school and junior high school school songs, and even the national anthem as a bonus.

I practiced “Kimigayo” many times for my elementary school graduation. After so much practice, the actual ceremony didn’t have much emotional impact. “Kimigayo,” “Aogeba Totoshi,” and then “Hotaru no Hikari.” I sang them in order. My voice echoed in the corridor, and “Kimigayo” sounded somehow solemn.

I wondered how far this path would go. How far would the wall stretch? It seemed like a straight path, with no corners or rooms appearing. There might be entrances to rooms on the opposite wall, but there was nothing on the wall I was touching.

I followed the endless wall and kept walking. My stomach was unbearably hungry. It kept growling. I wanted to drink water.

It felt like I had been walking for a whole day. But it might have been only an hour or so. I’m not sure, but it feels like I’ve been walking for a long time. If this path extended west, I might be below the west district. It’s that kind of distance.

But, if it was heading east… then I think I’d be heading towards the Monster Forest.

The season for bodyguards is about to end. And the season for monsters is starting. Just like when I went to gather materials for Olfin, the season when monsters swarm is about to begin.

For a moment, my feet stopped. But I stopped only for a moment and started walking again. When there’s no need to think, I avoid thinking about unnecessary things. That’s also what Saine taught me.

I tend to think about the end before something even begins. I immediately start thinking about bad things as soon as it starts. Saine doesn’t do that. For now, just try. If I hit a wall, then I’ll think of a solution. And then, keep moving.

It’s better to actually check where this path leads or if it leads nowhere before thinking about it. That way, I might understand what to do.

“Don’t think about things that don’t need thinking when you don’t need to think.”

I said this out loud to remind myself. Saine’s teaching is really useful. After all, I’m still walking steadily.

Suddenly, I wondered what that blast was. It was like a gas explosion.

In my previous life, I lived in a housing complex. There were several buildings in the complex. We called them “blocks.” We referred to them as Block A, Block B, and so on. There was a gas explosion in a block different from the one I lived in. It happened in the winter of my fifth year in elementary school.

After school, I was walking diagonally through the parking lot of the complex. It was a shortcut. Then, out of nowhere, there was a tremendous explosion, like a “boom” or “bang.” The ground shook, and my ears rang. I crouched in surprise and looked up to see windows shattering high up in the building.

Some of the glass shards flew right to my feet. I didn’t understand what was happening and stared blankly at the parking lot. Soon, people from various blocks came out, all shouting and pointing at the place where the windows had blown out.

Later, I found out that the people living in the upper apartment of the building where the windows blew out had tried to commit suicide using gas. They had opened the valve of their propane gas and were waiting for it to fill the room. Then they were waiting to die. But they couldn’t die quickly, so they decided to take a break and smoke a cigarette. That spark ignited the gas, blowing up the apartment below.

Even as a child, I thought, “What a troublesome way to commit suicide.” That’s how I learned that propane gas accumulates at the bottom.

There was a classmate in the apartment where the windows blew out. He was a fun guy, and we played together often. We even built a secret base with him and Haruka. He had a favorite TV show and had returned home earlier than me that day. I saw him rushing out of school. I still remember his back as he ran off with just a brief goodbye.

He died at 11 years old. The uncle who lit the cigarette suffered severe burns but survived.

I stopped for a moment, stroked Kyui through my clothes, and then started walking again.

That explosion was similar to what happened back then. But there’s no propane gas in this world, so I wondered what it was. I thought about it but couldn’t figure it out, so I stopped trying to think.

If Haruka were here, he would explain everything. Haruka was smart from a young age. He could read books effortlessly. His parents should have praised him for that instead of breaking tiles.

Speaking of which, my mom liked Haruka. She thought he was interesting. She used to dress him up in her clothes, do his makeup, and put wigs on him. Haruka didn’t mind and actually enjoyed it.

When it’s pitch dark and you can only hear your own footsteps, you end up remembering a lot of things. When Saine comes back, I’ll have a lot to talk about.

I’m not sure how far I’ve walked, but I saw something in the distance. Yes, I saw it. I stopped and stared at it intently. It was a tiny, really tiny light.

Forgetting about my feet, I started running towards that single point of light.

“Whoa!?”

I stumbled over something and fell dramatically. I hit my outstretched hand and forehead.

“Ouch…”

Rubbing my forehead, I looked up. The light was coming down from above, just like in that square.

Thanks to the light, I could vaguely see my surroundings. There were stairs in front of me. It seemed I had tripped and fallen over them. The stairs continued up, up. I slowly began to climb them.

TN: Kimigayo – Japanese National Anthem (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29FFHC2D12Q)

Aogeba Totoshi – Japanese graduation ceremony song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbgKWloZ8Yw)

Hotaru no Hikari –  there’s a Naruto opening but I doubt it’s that reference so I’m linking to this instead (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzFyxc698mU)